How to Love YourSELF
How to Love YourSELF
Christmas is the season of love, when we express our feelings to our loved ones and give them gifts.
But do we consider what gift we give ourselves?
Do we love and accept ourselves, with all our flaws, fears, and desires?
Self-love is a fundamental condition for a healthy and happy life. Self-love does not mean being selfish or disregarding others. It means respecting and valuing yourself, giving yourself what you need, protecting your boundaries, expressing your needs and feelings, taking care of your physical and mental wellbeing, celebrating your achievements, and learning from your mistakes.
Self-love is not something we are born with—it is something we cultivate!
Many people have reached out to me this year, saying they struggle to love themselves and face a lack of self-love. This often stems from childhood experiences, trauma, a critical inner voice, societal expectations, or negative life events. A lack of self-love can affect our self-esteem, confidence, relationships, work, decisions, and overall quality of life.
The good news is that self-love can be learned, practised, and strengthened! Christmas is an excellent opportunity to start this process and gift ourselves the gift of self-love. But how can we do this?
Here are some tips worth trying:
– Be kind to yourself. We often judge ourselves more harshly than others. Try to recognise and change the critical inner voice that belittles, hurts, or shames you. Instead, speak to yourself in ways that encourage, praise, or comfort you. For example: “You are doing well.”, “I am proud of you.”, “You deserve happiness.”, “You are not alone.”
– Accept yourself. Nobody is perfect; everyone has strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures, joys and sorrows. Do not compare yourself to others or unrealistic ideals. Do not deny or hide parts of yourself you do not like, but accept them as part of your personality. For example: “I accept that I am like this.”, “This is part of me.”, “I am neither better nor worse than others.”, “This trait can also be useful.”
– Take care of yourself. Your physical and mental health is important, and only you can give yourself what you need. Ensure you get enough sleep, exercise, nutritious food, rest, entertainment, and relaxation. Listen to the signals of your body and mind, and do what feels good and helps you recharge. For example: “I deserve this rest.”, “This exercise is good for me.”, “This food is healthy and enjoyable.”, “This activity brings me joy.”
– Develop yourself. Self-love does not mean being satisfied with everything you do or who you are. It also means being open to change, learning, and growth. Set goals that motivate and challenge you and bring you joy. Seek opportunities to expand your knowledge, skills, interests, and experiences. Find a coach who can expertly support you in this process!
– Value yourself. We often forget to celebrate our achievements, performance, strengths, or growth. It is important to acknowledge and reward ourselves for what we have accomplished or done. Give yourself praise, compliments, congratulations, or even a small gift. For example: “Congratulations, you did wonderfully.”, “I am beautiful and look good.”, “I am glad I did this.”, “I will buy myself this book.”
I hope these tips help you to love and honour yourself during Christmas and every day of the year.
Self-love is not a one-time event; it is a continuous practice that must be renewed daily. When we love ourselves, we can love others more deeply and enjoy life more fully. Christmas is an excellent opportunity to start this process and gift yourself the gift of self-love.
As the saying goes: “Love your neighbour as yourself.”
But first, you must love yourself!
I warmly invite you to join an art-based coaching process if you wish to work on loving and accepting yourself exactly as you are.
